Wednesday, 3 August 2011

being induced on august 3rd!





OK, after 2 months 19days and 8 hours (80 days + 8 hours) of being aware I was carrying a little boy, I am going to be induced! Wednesday 3rd August, 8am.

For anyone that has glanced at my blog, you'll see my amniotic fluid went up, then down, then back up again! Now its down again. I was originally going to have to have him out at 32 weeks, but things returned to normal and he has held on in there. He was breech till the last minute, but has now turned head down, so no c-section for me no more! I'm going to have to have a natural birth after all... which doesn't bother me too much as I was told a c-section would be very painful for me as they couldn't give me more morphine for relief and my tolerance level meant the standard amount wouldnt touch me!

I still can't believe I am going to be a momma. I have this baby moving inside me, but I can't quite believe there is really one in there, if that makes ANY sense! I have everything ready, including an Eric Carle HUNGRY CATERPILLAR nursery, which also doubles as my room. His name is going to be CARSON :)

His original due date was 24th August, so 3rd August is 37 weeks, which is considered full term anyway. Considering I found out so increadibly late, I've done pretty well. I recently graduated from college, I passed the course, and now have my place at University for September where I will study Social Policy. Luckily, my sis will have my boy. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking and I was abstinant from street drugs and ciggies anyway. Ironically though, I was told I'd of been better off not drinking, and taking heroin instead. Im petrified my baby will have FAS as i was boozing all day everyday until I found out :( I hope not, but I;ll love him regardless. I have decided not to drink for the foreseable future, I don't want to risk it at all. I can't do what my Dad did to me, to my son and I won't. I'm still good friends with an ex chief constable regarding drug policy and the need for change. I don't regret my time as a heroin addict for one reason only; i feel its given me the unique position to assist others and change things for the better. i know that may sound corny, and it is, but its also true. I wouldn't be who I am without those years and yes they hurt a lot of people, damanged my health and took years of my life, but its also changed me for the better in some ways.

Any parenting advice is much appreciated :) So come september I will have a baby, a university degree education beginning... things have really turned around. I mean, they had before, but obviously, my son has compounded this even more. To be told I'd never have children was one thing, but finding out i was 25weeks pregnant was another! I;ll let you know how I get on anyway. I was at the bottom of the pit, on deaths door, had nothing, was so fucking miserable... my probs aint gone away but im much better so im a testimony to y'all that it gets better, and it does.




9 comments:

Anonymous said...

That loveheart/tummy photo is too cute. Best of luck for today!

tui

Anonymous said...

Its been a big year for you ,best of luck

pinkpressthreat said...

Ok so it's nearly twenty-five to ten at night; your little one is sure to be here...looking in again soon..bye!!!

bugerlugs63 said...

O I bet you so happy, buzzing,glowing . . .cant wait to hear
Enjoy
di

BMelonsLemonade said...

Good luck, Mama. You will be fine. Before I had Lucien (my son), I worried about my ability to be a mama. I never really liked children, and I swore I would never have one...but I did. And it all came naturally, once he arrived. You will be surprised at yourself sometimes, as you just automatically know what to do. And then, the next minute you will be calling your mama, or sister, or aunt...asking them what to do! One thing I will warn you about...after Carson is born, your chemical balance will shift several times. Naturally, your hormones will be rising and falling. If you feel sad one day, or frustrated, or overwhelmed (which I still feel alot!!!), just ride the wave. Look at that beautiful boy sleeping, and keep your focus. Remember it is normal to feel this gamut of emotion, and the wave will eventually crest again. I am also a recovering addict, and a single mother of a two year old. The wave is definitely more good than bad, and when I feel bad...I just look at that little face, and I know it will be okay. But I think as a recovering addict, we need to remain vigilant over these ups and downs more than another new mother might...

Anonymous said...

God bless you and your son Naomi
are you ok?

bugerlugs63 said...

I hope all ok? keep checking to see if any news. I know small babies keep you busy but would love to know how its going? just to know that you both ok?
take care di

Bristolvol said...

Hope you are doing well and so is your baby! Keep us posted!

pinkpressthreat said...

NEWS PLEASE!!!