quick little hi while he is down!

I have just put my son down underneath his gym, and while I should take advantage of the rare moments in which he doesn't cry to be held, I can't help but watch him! I've put loads of his toys around the gym, of course, he can't play with any of them yet but they have a variety of sounds. My particular favourite is the Fisher Price Precious Planet Lion Crib Mirror. It is beautiful; a large lion whose body is a big mirror with hanging rattle shapes. I read that mirrors are very good for babies so I purchased it from amazon before he was born. He has been staring at it for the past ten minutes or so. Bless him, making all manner of facial expressions in it. I don't know what age babies smile 'properly'  but I still find it sweet to see him do so, whether it be wind as people say or merely him twitching his face. He is a baby that usually hates to be put down but under the guidance of a parenting book, I'm slowly reversing it. However, now he is older (5 weeks) and more alert, he enjoys being put down and he explores. Something he wasn't doing when he was on my chest 24/7! He contentidly lies there observing his surroundings. I take him out in my SleepyWrap which I much prefer to his pram, he hated his pram and would scream as soon as I stopped pushing it, so at the supermarket I would get into a right tizz as I was trying to pack my groceries while people tutted at me because of my screaming baby! The sleepywrap is just a strip of fabric you tie, at first I didn't know how to do it or was more nervous I hadn't got it right, but once I looked at a video on youtube I realised where I was going wrong and cracked it. My sis had a normal babycarrier and she didn't like it, she likened it to a ghostbusters backpack!! Baby didn't like it either. It always looked as if his head was jerking around in it whereas with this fabric, it moulds to his body and supports his head so its not flopping about. It was £40 and I ordered it on the spur of the moment because my wrists were really painful and had seized up, I guess from cradling him all day. Literally, it was hard to move them or change a nappy etc. but because I was the only one there, tough titty, had to be done!! He would scream if I put him down so it was impossible to get in the bath, wash-up, tidy, hoover... if I wanted to do any of this I had to get my mum or sis or friends or babies Dad round to hold him while I done whatever I wanted to get done! I was doing everything one handed but I  couldn't cook or use the kettle as I was petrified holding the baby and using my one hand would result in a disaster. So I scanned through Amazon and picked the one wrap and phew, its a life saver. I love and live for Amazon now! So easy! I don't get on the internet much anymore, so I purchased a BlackBerry Curve. Wow...what a piece of shit! I am going to return it to Tesco. I haven't been able to connect to the internet once on my own wifi or any other wifi either. I am on Virgin and I see many people have this problem. Now I'm looking at other phones and I really dont know what to get... my mum has an iphone and says get that but I don't want to commit to that as I'm going to university and won't be on any statesupport so I can't afford such a luxury. i could buy it for payasyougo, non-contract but thats nearly £500 and I could save that money for the house to make it nicer. Basically, what phone should I go for that is £200 or under? I want it for blogging, twitter, facebook and calls and texts. I have a really good seperate camera anyway so I'm not too fussed about that. I love HTC's also. Maybe I should just get a contract? OOOOps, baby is starting, wow, he lied alone for all of ten minutes! I keep on reading these parenting books but no decent advice on how to get a baby to sleep in a crib when he hates to be put down and wakes up as soon as he is! Some say its because he is breastfed, I don't know about that however. Even when a baby is bottlefed, he is in your arms for the same amount of time and getting close to you, so its not as if my baby is held more. Well he is, as he cries when I put him down but you know what I mean. I think I need to go to a breastfeeding clinic and get some advice, as this advice is coming from people that bottle feed. I hate the great breastfeeding -v- bottle debate, it causes some real amniosity between people and heated arguments. Personally, its up to you. My mum for instance, didn't breastfeed my sister or I. Not sure why, she hasn't really given a reason. She was indeed a nurse, but when we were born in the 80s I don't think the BREAST IS BEST drive was that intense. It is very interesting to listen to attitudes regarding breastfeeding. When I was in hospital afterwards, I heard women that simply went "urgh, im not doing that" as if it were disgusting. fair enough if thats how they felt. others werent so forthcoming with their reasons for why they werent going to, but they instantly went for the formula. statistics show that social class is something that affects whether a mother will choose to do so. you would think lower classes, thus with less money would breast feed as its by far the cheaper option but no, upper classes are more aware of the health benefits and go for BF. I definately noticed most people my age formula fed thats for sure. I don't know what makes my attitude so starkly different or anything. I can't speak for everyone, but while Carsons Dad comes around (he bought him so beautiful outfits yesterday) he doesn't live with me and I have the time and privacy to devote to breastfeeding. I know its the most natural thing in the world and shouldn't be shameful, too right, but I know some women find it uncomfortable infront of their partners. Shockingly, a member of my family had her son after previously having a child and desperately wanted to breastfeed, so she put her heart and soul into it. Her partner was so utterly unsupportive. I was round their house one night and went into the kitchen to get a cup of tea while the mother had a nap. I saw the Dad with the baby giving him a bottle of formula and it dawned on me what the cause of the problem was- the mother was in tears that her baby wouldn't feed from the breast. Why? The Dad was supplementing the baby with bottles behind the mums back before the Mum went to feed him, no wonder he wasn't feeding from her he was stuffed. I was gobsmacked. The Dads motive- jealousy maybe? I don't know but it was bloody bizarre. I have heard from others that dads have behaved similarly, have wanted the women to give up as they feel a little left out, whether its because they want to take the strain off the mum or because genuinely they are jealous of the close bond I don't know. I don't have that problem. Perks about being a single parent, at least thats one of them I suppose. Baby Carson was sooooo tiny when he was born but now, wow! When you are with a baby everyday you don't notice them growing. It wasn't until I looked at his suite, one that was hanging off him in the hospital so much we had to fold up the arms and legs, and noticed his feet touched the ends and his hands were far far out of the arms and he had basically nearly outgrown it. He looks far less dinky and delicate now and is getting that lovely baby fat they have! He has a lovely double chin- takes after his mum in this aspect definately!! I realised the other day that I hadn't give him adult music to listen to. He has his toys with nursery rhymes but before he was born I read New Scientist which explained studies had found babies could recognise music they had been exposed to while in utero. Maybe at 5 or 6 weeks I had left it too late (though how would I know? this was my front room not a labatory setting!) but I thought I better give him some to listen to. So, I whacked on some Elvis and Beatles but most importantly, this Ska album that I had played constantly throughout my pregnancy. He seemed awfully puzzled by these new noises, and kept amused for a good half an hour or so. I got some nice Philips speakers to connect to the laptop so I can hear music decently. Carsons Dad is a guitarist and a brilliant singer, I hope baby takes after him and doesn't inherit my singing voice!! I know, I know, my birth story... still have yet to write it! I will! Perhaps this afternoon! Though that probably translate as in two weeks to you guys! I will certainly post new pics xxx hope you are all well